Last night I was getting ready to go to an album release. My excitement is extreme for my friends who have worked so hard and put all their hearts into their music. Steadily I applied my makeup and did my hair. I haven’t had time to “fix up” much since we’ve been moving so I really enjoyed the process. Since the party was late and the venue is dark I decided to go all out and use a little glitter. When I step back and checked my efforts I thought to myself “that eyeshadow is pretty”.
Triggered memories flooded over me. I could all but hear him say “Pretty Ugly”. The day I asked if my lavender hair bows were pretty. The day my neighbor said my eyes were pretty. The time I dressed up for a chorus concert and I stood before him, as a little girl needing validation wanting affirmation of some kind. As a child wanting to be noticed as smart, kind, or a pretty person and all he could say was “pretty ugly”. That’s the way I was described. Did it pain him to compliment me, to encourage me? Was he afraid I would become strong if I felt any self worth? Did he know I would marry the first boy who told me I was pretty? Did he feel secure because I was insecure?
Give you’re daughters value, not just for their looks but recognize their strengths and look for the beauty she has and nurture her and she WILL blossom.
Raising Vipi 